June 24, 2011

When is it gonna be our fucking turn?


I wish that one word of what I am about to share was fabricated, but not even I am creative enough to come up with something this ridiculous:

My boss at the restaurant packed up all his personal belongings, the food in the freezers and fridges, the paper goods, the plates, the paintings on the walls, and simply drove away on Monday at 2am.

{This is the really lame letter I got in the mail yesterday with my Money Order paycheck}

Customarily, when someone quits their job they give a two week notice, no? This coward of a man gave zero notice and little inclination that over twenty of us would be unemployed this weekend.

I have bills to pay, just like anyone else. I work with women who rely on this job to feed their three children, and others who rely on it to pay off hefty student loans. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with waitresses wage - here in Massachusetts the waitressing minimum is $2.63 an hour. What this means is that I rely solely on my tips to pay my bills, and it's never a steady or consistent income. On a very slow six hour day shift I could be standing around for hours at a time waiting for a table to come in, and leave with less than $30 in my pocket. On a busy night I could be making over $30 an hour. It's inconsistent, yet somehow always ends up working itself out in the end. But as you can imagine, I definitely live and pay my bills on a week to week basis.

What? We don't make millions? I'm sure that this is an unbelievable concept to a handful of you who think that TJ sleeps with a blanket made out of one hundred dollar bills...{alright, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit}...but trust me when I say that we do stress and struggle financially, and that we do rely on me working to help pay the bills....especially with our upcoming wedding and with a majority of TJs salary still in Germany.

Trust me, I've heard it all; from people telling me "Oh, it's so nice that you have a job" {like I'm doing it for charity or something}, to people flat out saying, "You don't deserve tips, your boyfriend makes millions and you don't appreciate money." 

Uhhh...really? That must be why we're living in my parents basement.

Thoughts running through my head right now?... Needless to say, I'm stressed to the max.

Both TJ and I are unemployed. We have a wedding to pay for, and we would like to be able to think about starting a family. Will he get a contract for next year? Are his agents really working for him? Do we need to start thinking about retirement? The reality of the importance of having a backup plan has smacked the both of us across the face and punched us square in our stomachs. Should TJ put together a resume and apply for a job? Should I do the same? What happens if we're both hired somewhere and then he's offered a contract?

The agents keep telling us he's getting something, but this waiting game sucks and it's terrifying. 

And I'm tired of answering the "Where are you going next year?" question.

I hate that I think like this, and I never thought that I'd ever actually say it...but at what point is doing what you love truly worth this much anxiety and frustration? I'm trying to stay positive, I really truly am...but this whole having GMs and organizations and coaches and agents dictate if, when, and where the both of us can work is really breaking me down. 

I have so much joy and happiness for our friends who are signing all over the world, but I've exhausted myself of turning to TJ everyday when we see that another friend has signed and saying, "When is it gonna be our fucking turn?"

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30 comments

  1. This sucks for you!! Can't believe this is what you have been given...haven't you worked in the same place for numerous summers?

    I'm really sorry about the situation and I hope that you will get something sorted for the both of you soon!! Fingers crossed.

    Stay strong and positive!
    x

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  2. Wow. Can't believe your boss did that. It's not fair to all the employees. It is frustrating when you can't find a job doing what you love (my current predicament). Your turn will be here soon!

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  3. That really sucks, what a dillweed of a douche. Though I guess in order to close down your business, pack up and leave town, he must be under some serious financial stress of his own.

    Hope it gets better for you.
    This lifted my spirits today, hope it can do the same for everyone else: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/05/08/88-ways-to-make-a-stranger-smile/

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  4. Girl, I feel ya!! We are in the same boat every year and my husband can't work here ( not American) and we have two kids. Not fun. But we are traveling the world and trying to make the most of it!!

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  5. I'm a new commenter, but have been reading for a while. I'm so sorry this has happened! I can totally understand (to a certain point). While I'm not dating an athlete or anything like that, I was unexpectedly laid off from a job a year and a half ago and know what it's like to worry about where the next paycheck is going to come from.

    I hope that everything works out for the both of you and that you can get through this situation quickly!

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  6. OH my gosh, when you told me about this the other day, I thought it was just your boss quitting, not the whole flipping this closing down!!! WTF is wrong with them?! I am so sorry about this, so annoying. And you are right, there aren't too many things that are worth that kind of waiting around and anxiety...but I can't see ya'll being done. Not yet. I will believe in the power of positive thinking for you. I will! After all, I am annoying good at that :) This really is Sucky McPoop-Pants. Go outside and have a good scream about it all.

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  7. Oh my gosh, I can't believe they just up and left like that! That's insane!

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  8. Wow. That is crazy ridiculous. I get it... a lot of people are in dire financial straits. This is the economy we live in these days. But to just close down shop and haul ass in the middle of the night... Giving everyone no warning whatsoever!!! Karma will get 'em Kym. You're too sweet to wish for that probably but I will wish it for you. :)
    And what is meant to happen will happen... eventually. The waiting sucks. We all have to do it in one way or another... You and TJ are a strong couple that will just get stronger because of this. Happy thoughts and prayers for you friend.

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  9. Don't worry about everyone else that is signing...just because you are signed doesn't give you job security. One year we spent all summer excited about the new city we signed in, just to be traded a week before training camp. Take a deep breathe, and try to turn the hockey switch "off" from your daily thinking, because worrying about it constantly will make you crazy. Good things are coming your way!

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  10. I already talked you off one ledge this week, Kym. I don't know if I have it in me to talk you off another.

    JUST KIDDING.

    Breathe deeply and try to hold on to whatever shred of faith you still have. Things will work out. You guys will survive this storm. And you'll be much stronger as a result. Keep venting here - everyone loves your 'from the heart' posts!

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  11. Oh no, that really sucks! I am so sorry for you, but I am sure you'll find something much better!!
    Hugs xxx

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  12. Know what? This happens to me too! And I am so sorry that it is stressing you out on top of the other upcoming stressful (but good!) events: wedding, signage...

    I gotta agree with TexaG and the lady that wrote Eat Pray Love. Positive thoughts out into the universe really do work. Not just yours, but other people's too.

    Now, about that restaurant guy. I will cut him.

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  13. I think people are so ignorant when they assume how much someone makes. You know, so what if you did make millions, its not their business to assume that.

    My advice would be to look for a job, maybe both of you and if something does come up and he is signed somewhere, thats ok. Its just a job, and people quit all the time.

    I bet and hope this happened because something good is about to happen.

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  14. That is so shitty, to say the least. I'm sorry, love. I only know you through your blog but I know enough to be able to say that you will be fine, and you'll find something that is going to make you happy and secure. You have an awesome man and it sounds like you have parents there who will help you if things get rough, and you have us! We will tell you how awesome you are every day so that you never forget. Keep that chin up; things have a weird way of working themselves out.

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  15. that is terrible. I hope for yours and TJ's sake, everything falls back into place soon!

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  16. I can't say I know what you're going through - because everyone's lives are different. But I can tell you that I know how it feels when it seems like your world is falling down on top of you. Just last year I was living in a house with a foreclosure notice on the window (SURPRISE! Even though I'd been paying him, my landlord hadn't been paying his mortgage!) I got no warning, just the notice of default on my window and an auction date. Already living from paycheck to paycheck, who had money for a move? Not me. To top it off - there were uncertainties at work and I was sick all the time but had no idea why (gluten intolerance, as it turns out!) It all managed to work itself out - but it took time and that was the hardest part. I found my house and got approved to buy exactly one month before the house I was renting was scheduled to be auctioned off. My mother graciously offered to pay the down payment on the new house. Things smoothed out a bit at work - though there are still uncertainties. I took a lot of xanax from about September to December of last year... just sayin'... LOL

    I wish I had brilliant words of advice for your dear, but just know I love ya and am here if you need to vent! And also remember this - one of my favorite sayings (by Marilyn of course) "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together..."

    <3

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  17. So sorry your boss is a dick. Sorry no other choice of words. I am baffled. Hope you can take him for unemployment.

    I hope things work out and monday morning you have a message from TJs agent. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  18. that is INSANE!! what a d-bag!! whooo does that???

    hoping you find out soon about TJ and you find a job quick that you really love!

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  19. OMG your former boss is an ass. Wow! Can't believe someone would do that. Hang in there. I hope you figure something else out for the summer while waiting for a contract! Try dog walking/sitting. It pays well!! :)

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  20. Oh no, Kym, that is awful! Who does that - pack up and leave without a single sign of notice beforehand? Lame letter, that's for sure. I am playing the waiting game with you...I don't know where I will be after July, how I am supposed to afford a meal, let alone what is going to happen with my relationship which depends on the outcome of this job crapola. At least I don't have a wedding to pay for. . . I wish I had more encouraging words to say other than in the end it usually all falls into place just in time. I hope that will be the case for you two as well. Try and stay positive, you have each other and a family that is there for you two; hopefully this will finally all be over soon when it is finally your turn! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you, K, hang in there!

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  21. Oh no! I know how stressful it is planning a wedding on limited finances. Planning one on less than that would be stress with a capital S.

    What a dickwad thing for your boss to do. Makes me wonder why he felt he had to get out Dodge so quickly. Karma is a bitch and she will bite them!

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  22. I cannot even imagine how you are feeling right now. How is it even legal for your former employers to do what the did?! Shouldn't there be some accountability as the owners of a business?!

    In regards to your husband's job uncertainty, I know how frustrating that can be. I've worked in sports, grown up in it, and spent most of my 20s dating pro baseball/hockey players. What I know is that it takes a remarkably strong woman to live in that life and support the man she loves, and eventually; all of your questions will be answered and things will happen as they should. Keep your head up my dear, and know that you and your family are being thought of and prayed for.

    wildmagnolia9.blogspot.com

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  23. That sucks! I hate the waiting and wondering game!

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  24. Wow what a loser move by your {ex}boss!! I so hope things get better & that the stress will be less soon!! Fingers crossed for good news for both of you:)

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  25. Sorry to hear about your job and all the stress. What type of a boss does that to his staff. I can relate to your situation because I've been there the last 7yrs. When I became disabled I went on permanent disability and only receive 50% of my salary to support my family of four. My wife took a job to make up the rest of the money to pay bills and life is to the wire right now. It's worked out ok though because our lifestyle hasn't changed! Hang in there and be positive!

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  26. I am your newest follower, found you through For The Love of Blogs :) I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Waiting tables can be really tough, and I know how hard it can hurt to lose that income. We are going through sort of the same situation as far as being super stressed to the max about finances. I hope you find a job soon!!

    Tiffani
    Thoughts from Tiffani

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  27. I can't believe your boss did that! I am sending good vibes to you and all your coworkers that you find employment soon (and that TJ gets a contract ASAP) :)

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  28. Ugh. What a frustrating situation. To just leave you hanging like this is just so rude!

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  29. Oh, goodness! I can't believe you were given no notice and just a note...that is so not fair and just stinks!

    On a lighter note, I will pray for you guys, and I sure have missed reading your blog! I have been sidetracked with life, myself...just now getting back into the swing of things. Keep looking up girl, that's the only way to go! :)

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  30. This happened to a friend of mine once - only he never got his final paycheck and neither did the rest of the employees of the commerce club where they worked. Too many people have no sense of responsibility for their own actions.

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I love reading your thoughts and opinions and I do try to answer all comments and questions. If you would like to contact me directly feel free to email me at kymberly_fox@yahoo.com, on Instagram @kymberly_fox, or at Facebook.com/KymFox86 :)

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