September 4, 2013

Real Talk // How Do I Block You In Real Life, Too?

I was recently unfriended by someone on Facebook, and while my initial reaction was to get pissed off ... my response quickly turned into confusion about how both awesome and awkward the next time we see each other in "real life" will be ... and then it turned even faster into finding humor in the situation, because guess what? 

It's fucking Facebook. 

I remember sleeping in my dorm room back in 2005, when a girl on my floor came running through the halls, pounding on all of our doors at 2am to let us know that our school had finally been added to Facebook. 

You better believe that we all jumped out of bed and created accounts within five minutes.

Remember when it was only certain colleges and universities that were allowed to be a part of "Thefacebook"? Ohh, the good old days.

Since then, I've watched Facebook be a major component of the ruin of a handful of marriages, friendships and families - and I only have 268 friends on my personal account. That's really sad, huh?

Beyond that sad fact, Facebook now seems to have become a podium to express explicit personal opinions about things like politics, religion, abortion, circumcision, sex before marriage, same sex marriage. The list goes on. 

I've seen people go into all out battles on Facebook, and seeing it literally gives me anxiety. 

I mean, I have a blog, I respect the freedom of free speech ... but I wish more people would understand that in voicing their strong opinion to a group of hundreds of people - people who they are supposed to be "friends" with - they're also going out of their way to make those "friends" feel uninformed and inferior. I guess I just don't understand why many people possess the need to express themselves like that.

So I suppose the easy solution, in an ongoing attempt to avoid unnecessary drama in my life, is to delete my Facebook. 

I've kept it for years because I have albums on there that contain precious memories from years ago. But that's a silly excuse, I can back those photos up and print them out at the store. 

I also want to be able to stay connected with friends from years ago. But the easy solution to that is to exchange phone numbers, and *gasp* maybe even set up a time to actually see each other in person and catch up in real life. Do people even still do that anymore?

Have you ever deleted your Facebook account?
How do you keep your Facebook & your sanity at the same time?



Today I'd like you to meet Nicole from Treasure Tromp.

It's been a while since I featured a fellow expat here at Travel Babbles, and I'm super excited to introduce all of you to Nicole from Treasure Tromp. She recently moved to South Africa in June of 2013, and currently calls Cape Town home. She's engaged, planning a wedding from the other side of the world, and like me, enjoys pretending how to know how to cook and be crafty

To learn more about Nicole, check out a list of her favorite posts, and continue reading below for a quick Q+A about life in South Africa, along with some great tips for fellow expats who are currently planning their wedding from afar:

1. What is the greatest lesson that you've learned while living as an expat? 
Living as an expat has changed the way I think of 'home'. I've learned that home can be anywhere. Living in California for most of my life, I had always considered that state home. And while it is where most of my friends and family reside, moving to another country has allowed me to realize that 'home' is really wherever I make it. And as cheesy as it sounds, 'home' is anywhere my fiancé and I are living.

2. What has surprised you the most about living in South Africa? 
Access to such a wide range of natural beauty! Of course I was ready for all of the new wildlife, but I was not expecting so much diversity in the geography. From the mountain ranges and grasslands to the deserts and meeting of two oceans, South Africa is such a beautiful and breathtaking country!

3. How is wedding planning in a foreign country? (I planned ours from Germany, so I totally know all about the struggles and frustrations!) Do you have any tips for planning a wedding while abroad? 
Planning a wedding from foreign country is tricky! When I first started planning I had no idea how much fun it would be (thank goodness for pinterest)! 2 major tips of advice: 1) pick your venue before you leave (if possible). I did not and I really wish that I had! 2) Enlist friends and family members to help! I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family members to pitch in (research venues, call caterers, etc.) while I'm abroad.

Follow Nicole:
Treasure Tromp / Bloglovin' / FacebookTwitter / Instagram


  1. I am very picky about who I have on my Facebook, I don't deal with drama.

  2. I've thought about deleting my personal Facebook account. Not really for stress but more because I'm so sick of reading annoyingly vague statuses and people's cries for attention. Every time I open my news feed I feel like I get annoyed. But, I've just stopped reading the news feed instead. I still consider deleting it. Maybe someday.

  3. I have around 300 friends. I don't add randoms I barely know. I delete people who stir up drama or can't form proper sentences. And those who I truly want to delete, but can't because of offending them... I just hide their status updates.

  4. My husband and i both deleted ours at the beginning of August 2009 and never looked back. Zero regrets!

  5. The biggest thing for me was deleting people who I didn't know. At first I accepted every single friend request and then before I knew it I had 2,000 friends. 2,000! That was absurd. Then one night I was eating out at a restaurant and ran into a "Facebook friend" and we didn't even exchange hellos... then it dawned on me that if I can't even be bothered to say hello to someone in person, why the hell did I need to follow their life on Facebook?! I didn't. So I deleted more than 75% of my "friends" and it's been much better ever since!

  6. I've also thought about deleting my account but have chickened out a few times. I'm sure no one would miss my once a month status update, though!

  7. I've been defriended (by my MOH & someone who I considered a good friend) & that crushed me. (There's a story with that.) then last week I deleted a couple of people after I got a really mean message from one of them basically saying that I was an awful friend. I was hurt, but then realized that I was the bigger person because I hadn't used Facebook. I deleted it once, but reactivated it soon after. I try to look at it like reality tv...80% fake & for entertainment. Living away from friends & family I keep it as a way to keep in touch, both on there & over the phone.

  8. I just hungout with people who deleted me on Facebook last weekend and we didn't even care that we're not "friends" anymore. I just laughed at them when it got brought up. LOL I now pretty much use FB to share articles and look at my goddaughter's pictures but I use my blog to share about what's going on in my life :)

  9. I still have my Facebook account. I go through it every once in awhile and delete people who I feel like I wouldn't talk to in real life anymore and I keep a lot of people on my limited profile. I like it while I'm living abroad - I can't see those people in real life for 99% of the year so I take what I can get.

  10. How funny... why would they delete you? I don't think I've ever deleted real-life friends before... blocked, yes, but not deleted :)

  11. I unfriend people left and right! You constantly talk about your kids BMs? Gone. We were kindasorta friends in HS? Bye. You always post about things I morally oppose? Cya. The exception is has a special button...the 'hide all posts from this person' button.

  12. I know the feeling all too well - it is my best way of a quick, free message to friends across the seas and to upload full albums quickly and easily for these long lost friends and family members to keep up to date - so I won't ever delete it. But I did a huge clean out of friends - only friends with those that I have seen or spoken to in the last 6 months... And I hide news feed updates from the annoying people that are actually my friends... x

  13. I don't post much on my personal facebook; I keep it mostly as a way to easily keep in touch w/ people. But I can honestly go weeks or a month+ w/o looking at my FB feed. Also, I use filters liberally. I want to keep in touch w/ you but you spam-share every single thing you find on the internet that you find funny? Filtered. Talk too much politics and unwilling to actually discuss them rationally, calmly, in-depth, see both sides of the picture? Filtered. Send too many game invites constantly? Block those apps. Etc! Makes looking through FB not only faster/cleaner, but less of a headache, too. I also don't hesitate to hit the 'unfollow' button if I can't remember why I "friended" them on FB to begin with.

  14. Also, I'm very tight w/ privacy filters, esp. when it comes to apps. There's NO reason any of these 3rd-party apps need to see any of my personal info, beyond say, my email. So if 3rd-party apps want more info that I'm willing to share, I don't bother with them. (And thus not only protect myself, but those on my friends list!)

  15. Facebook is extremely annoying. I only have 231 and I reckon 99% of people are people I would talk to in 'real life'. It is handy for my group of friends as we organise group evens in the messages, I keep in contact with those in other countries and it costs nothing. I have recently began to use it less and less as I don't feel the need anymore. I will still shard photos but stay off chat etc. It's my little space and in fact I think I share more personal info on my blog but I am not a sharer in real life and can't bear to discuss emotions and feelings hence the blog is a good way for me haha!! I have often thought of deleting but realise that I can ignore the crap and use it for what I want.
    Missy x

  16. I've deleted my Facebook too many times to count, but it's become even more necessary for group communication than even email. So I'm stuck with it because of that, and then I get sucked into all the social aspects. One part that I never do, though, is turn on my chat bar. I find it limits my time on the fb, and keeps unwanted conversations from happening.

  17. I don't think I will erase my Facebook because it is sometimes my only contact with some far away friends. But I have unfriended people (a cousin this past weekend) because of rage filled drama inducing rants. I avoid drama seeking people like the plaque.

  18. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I LOVE that I can keep up with my family and friends out of state through pictures and video and instant messaging, but I HATE the drama it creates and those FB peeps that seem to not get what FB is best used for. As much as I'd love to deactivate it and stick to Twitter/Instagram, my job requires me having a FB (I manage social media accounts for some large corporations) therefore I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place!

  19. So about two years ago I deleted my FB and said bye to all 1500 of my friends from college and I didn't miss it for one second. When I started blogging I wanted a FB page but it's hard without an account so I made a new one and I currently have 80 friends (mostly family, BFFs, and blog friends).. it's so much nicer to not be constantly annoyed by people! I have noticed that I have not a clue what anyone is doing with their lives.. but then again I don't really care.

  20. I deleted mine at the start of the year. I don't regret it one bit. As one of my Twitter followers explained...FB is like a place for drama, drama, and more drama. Like all sorts of stupid drama. I don't miss Facebook. Instagram, on the other hand, has been difficult to stay away I went back last week. I caved after 8 months b/c I wanted to know what all the fashion people were seeing at Fashion Week. I wanted to see what projects my favorite DIY/Home Decor bloggers were working on before they did a blog post. I missed not seeing pics from my old high school boyfriend who now lives out in Portland, Oregon (and quietly lamenting to myself that I would marry that guy today if he wasn't gay). He and I connected more on IG, not FB. I thought it might be difficult at first w/ the deletion of FB. I haven't missed it once. People that know me, care about me, and want to stay in contact...they all know how to find me. My family, old high school classmates...yeah...I didn't like them then...still don't care for them now as they pretend to 'fake like me' on Facebook or Friend me. Facebook is really FAKEbook to me. People faking being friends with people they don't even like. Yeah...don't miss it at all.

  21. Where's the button for LIKING this comment??? :)

  22. I haven't deleted my FB account, although at one point seriously thought about it. I do occasionally hide people from my news feed and I typically won't accept a friend request unless I actually know the person.

  23. I haven't, but I've wanted to. I use it for business, so I pretty much can't. However, it has definitely caused A LOT of drama in my life. :(

  24. I deleted mine a year and a half ago. No regrets.

  25. Oh boy do I remember when our school was "allowed" to have Facebook. I remember I was PISSED when they opened it to everyone, because I knew that all hell was going to break loose. My rule of thumb is to stay away from peoples status' that I disagree with, I 'hide' people that are drama from my newsfeed, and I kick people off my status' that cause trouble. I just use it to keep connected!


I love reading your thoughts and opinions and I do try to answer all comments and questions. If you would like to contact me directly feel free to email me at or find me on Instagram @ourfoxtales.