October 29, 2013

Eight Reasons Why I'm A Shitastic Blogger

#1. I ate Chipotle for the first time on Sunday ... and I HATED it. 
Per Samantha's recommendation, I went with a chicken burrito bowl. I choked down ten bites then spent thirty minutes laying on the floor in pain. I'm never eating Chipotle again.
It's fine.

#2. I don't care about Red Cups.
Last year Starbucks had little foxes on their cups, and that was cute ... but I definitely don't go all gaga over Red Cups like many bloggers do. Those two words actually immediately remind me of "REDRUM, REDRUM" from The Shining.
#DunkinDonutsForLife

#3. I never share photos of my family or friends here. 
I love reading other blogger's weekend update posts and seeing the fun times that they had with their family and friends. Me, though? I feel like I should have everyone sign a release form stating that I can use their photo on my blog before putting their faces on the internet. It just creeps me out, so I use Someecards instead.
I'm sorry, Dad.

#4. I've never been GOMI'ed. 
In my personal opinion, you're a blogging nobody until you've been asked to get off of the internet.
 
But I'll punch you in the uterus if you post about me there.

#5. I will never ask my husband to take outfit pics of me.
 
I prefer standing on toilets. And I document these moments because 5 out of 7 days I change back into yoga pants after I get out of the shower. 

#6. I had my first ever blate with Sami and failed.
If you're a bird I'm a bird?

#7. I've never eaten a macaron.
Honestly, which Blogger God declared 2013 the year of the macaron and chevron print? I can't wait to see what 2014 holds. Crepes and cartouche, I hope.

#8. My life is actually really boring.
 
We are really, seriously boring. I still can't believe that anyone besides my parents and grandmother reads this crap.

Are you a shitastic blogger, too?

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135 comments

  1. Oh girl- I'm right there with you on so many of these! If I asked my husband to take an outfit photo for me, he would say no- and only after laughing at me. And I'm really not one for Starbucks red cups (or Pumpkin spice everything either...)


    Though I really do love Chipotle...

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  2. This post is hilarious. It makes me sad you don't like Chipotle, but that is probably because you've lived all over the world and have had amazing food.

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  3. OMG I love this! I feel like a lot of times bloggers do stuff just to do it (and IG it)...maybe I've done that once or twice. In my defense, I tried macaroons for the first time this year for a completely unrelated reason (my sister went to Europe and then we had afternoon tea when she came back) and I liked them. Also, we need to talk about this Chipotle bust. I used to eat there like every day in high school, but now not so much. It's not a blogger thing, it's a Colorado thing!

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  4. The only red cups that I believe in are RED SOLO CUPS and they best be filled with a cheap and AWESOME brewski. Otherwise, no thanks. I prefer my homemade coffee to Starbucks 6 out of 7 days of the week (the other I skip coffee altogether!)... TOTALLY jiving with you here girl.

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  5. You are silly. You are not a terrible blogger. We will take pictures this weekend and then I'll post them on my blog weekend update ;) I always wonder if my friends would be pissed that I put pictures up of them but one time they told me it made them feel famous soooo I went with it.

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  6. How did you hate chipots? You weirdo :)


    Kidding.


    And ha... yeah the red cups. I don't even GO to starbucks, nor drink coffee so yeah, doesn't matter to me either.

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  7. Oh man. Where do I begin? Actually I'm right there with you on most of these, but #1. Ohhhhh #1. FIrst, I should have told you to get a steak bowl, not chicken. I don't ever eat the chicken, it's incredibly dry. JC eats it all the time and I tell him he has no taste buds. Secondly, did you get the corn salsa? Because that was the second most important piece of advice (I left off the first - duh).
    Thirdly, I am SO jealous that Sami got to hang out with you. But hey, I guess if I wasn't able to take your blating virginity (ahem, your fault), what's better than another Samantha????
    PS - you're still my BB4L and I forgive you. xoxoxoxox

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  8. TJ would totally laugh at me, and I feel like it would just be AWKWARD! I give credit to couples who can pull this off, because I'd be cracking up with horrible faces the entire time!!!

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  9. I think my expectations were just set at it being like a gourmet Taco Bell. I love that they prepare the food right in front of you .. and maybe my stomach was just off or something, but it hurt my belly :(

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  10. I have only HEARD that macaroons are amazeballs (haha, yay for slipping in a *blogger word*) .... afternoon tea does sound delightful ;) I went to the Chipotle down near 16th Street ... maybe it was just a bad one to go to? Waaa TJ was obsessed and not impressed with me that I didn't enjoy it.

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  11. YESSSSS to Red Solo Cups, lol - you just made my day, Amber.

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  12. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's awesome. My friends and family know that I blog, but we never really talk about it and they probably think that I'm a big weirdo instead of famous. I can't waaaait for this weekend!

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  13. I am a weirdo, I'm sorry lol. No coffee? Do you have tea? How do you get yourself going in the morning? I wish that I could function in the morning without coffee!!

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  14. haha I love this. I am naturally snap happy so decided to start a blog as a sort of scrapbook of our adventures so most friends and family are fair game (for now, I'm not a big blogger). Also, I don't even know what GOMI is, does that make me an even worse blogger? Or internet user in general?

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  15. I DID GET THE CORN SALSA!!!!!!! Now I'm thinking maybe I went to a crappy Chipotle or something??!?!? The chicken was wicked dry, but someone told me not to get the steak...waaa. Listen. If we had blated then you might not be engaged right now - what if JC went all chicken shit because there was this weirdo blog girl hanging out with you all weekend?!?!? hahahaha

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  16. Love this. I'm a terrible blogger too, so I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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  17. Noooo that does not make you a bad internet user lol - I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm a lurker there.

    I soooo wish that I felt comfortable sharing more photos here. My family and friends know that I blog, but I think they think I'm a weirdo lol. I swear I have family and friends ;) ;)

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  18. Well JC also says not to get the steak, so.......
    LOL. Well HE'S clearly a weirdo, so you two would have gotten along swimmingly ;)

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  19. I'm completely boring-- I don't spend money!! Haha and I'm so over chevron. ITS ZIG-ZAGGY STRIPES PEOPLE!!!

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  20. hahaha i just died at #4. that's just not true. maybe you're just not supposed to gomi. ya know? i also don't care about red cups. but i do like chipotle.

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  21. oh. my. god. all these reasons (except for Chipotle :D) are why I fell in love with your blog and didn't know it. Thanks for being different and original :)

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  22. Ha ha, I love this post! I'm not really all that interesting but I love blogging :D

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  23. LOL! I love this! I STILL have never had a PSL!!! GASP I know!! However, Chipotle!? Never & when you did you didn't like it!?!? I could probably live off of Chipotle... & it has nothing to do with blogging! LOL! Loved this post! Too funny!

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  24. Try it again and get something else! I've always thought chicken was their worst meat. Like you have to get really flavorful salsa to make the chicken work. I always get steak...either a burrito, tacos, or a burrito bowl...depends on how much of a fatty I'm being that day. Ha!

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  25. This is absolutely hysterical...I love all of it. Minus the chipotle part, you're a crazy person for not liking chipotle.

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  26. Oh Kym! You're too funny. But I must say...kicking an infertile in the uterus would be all kinds of wrong. So you'd have to punch me in the boob. I think that'd be more appropriate. ;)

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  27. I love this! I tweeted about my disdain for Chipotle the other day and expected to get thrown off the internet. And I declare the day I hit GOMI to be the day I have finally "made it!"

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  28. I love this all except for #1. I don't think that we can be friends anymore.






    okay, jk, but really. Chipotle will be my first meal when I get back to the US

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  29. I hope starbucks in the UK do that amazing festive collection at Christmas time ... I often find that the UK chains of US restaurants never offer as wide a selection here :( gets me in a right tizzy!!

    Laura xx

    P.s. I am hosting a Michael Kors watch giveaway on the blog this week. If you fancy your chances, you can enter at the link below:

    http://www.atouchoftartan.co.uk/2013/10/country-green-michael-kors-giveaway.html

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  30. Haha I'm such a bad blogger too! Reason 1, only like three people ' in real life' know about my blog. Reason 2, I use capital letters..I know my grammar might suck sometime ( I blame that on going to elem. school in a different country) and English was technically my 2nd language till like 12, but apparently not using capital letters is a thing for big bloggers and GAH it drives me crazy. And I feel like that would actually be hard to do. Three, I've had several 'blates' and yep pictures didn't happen! So I'm totally getting a picture at snooze as you eat the best pancake of your LIFE (and I'm usually not a pancake person so that says something) and I'm sure I can come up with dozens of reasons of why I'm a terrible blogger.. oh except I guess I have been mentioned on GOMI I just couldn't find where but once I had like 100 page views in a day from there (how I discovered it) but I couldn't actually find where I was mentioned...probably a good thing! Oh just thought of another, I'm not obsessed with pumpkin spice lattes. ..give me an iced carmel latte from DD any day!

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  31. How many times did I say 'Amen' when I read this! Haha! I feel like I'm pretty bad too. If I do any outfit posts the photos are the worst cuz I feel weird asking people to take pictures for me.


    Ashley
    http://allthatglitters.co.nr

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  32. Hahaha oh my god I love this post! We sound so similar :)

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  33. Absolutely hilarious. Seriously though, you didn't like Chipotle? Oh my. You're so right about macaroons and chevron. I can't deal. I feel like the words worst blogger sometimes because I adamantly refuse to post a recipe, a work out plan, or a DIY project. Will not.

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  34. I feel like you really get me. Like, on an emotional AND spiritual level. You feel?

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  35. soooo, does that mean I'm a SOMI? hahahaha ;)

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  36. Hahaha, thank you, thank you very much (insert Uncle Jesse voice)

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  37. Lucky, there is a space for us un-interesting people in the webosphere ;)

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  38. This is the first year in like five years that I remembered how much I dislike PSLs!! What do you order at Chipotle? I'm beginning to think that maybe I just went to a bad restaurant or something!?

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  39. IIIIII KNOW. I feel like y'all are going to gang up and stone me, lol!!

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  40. ;) Thanks for taking this with a grain of salt, my dear. I miss connecting with you!! xoxo

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  41. ME TOO, LAUREN, ME TOO!! Except I will probably be dropping F bombs and sweating the whole day if/when it ever happens lol.

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  42. Hahaha, one of my first meals back was Taco Bell. I'm pretty sure that all of you are going to stone me to death. I'm also pretty sure that maybe I just went to a crappy Chipotle?!?!

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  43. Ohhh Fancy! I'd love to win the watch - thanks for sharing :)

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  44. I love this post minus the chipotle comment. It's not amazing but not horrible. Sorry that you had bad experience. I don't get Starbucks either.

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  45. yeah, mine know I'm a weirdo :) I do try to not put as many though, and definitely no unflattering ones! I think then I might get shot.

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  46. I still can't come to terms with you not liking Chipotle. We love it so much that we make "Chipotle" dinner at home. Your tastebuds must have been having an off day ;-)

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  47. Haha standing on the toilet is a good idea!

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  48. I would probably cry and then junk punch somebody if I found out I made GOMI. I also have never had a macaroon and my life is quite boring too.

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  49. No coffee, no tea... though occasionally I'll order one or the other if I'm meeting someone at a coffee shop. I love 12oz skinny sugar free vanilla lattes. I probably have one a month or so!

    And as far as caffeine goes, I'm totally a morning person, but sometimes take this little pre-workout mix called Side Effect... it has caffeine, niacin... you know, the goodies to get me pumped for a workout (or my day in general). I always take it before I run :)

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  50. I am totally shitastic! Thank you so much for showing me I'm not alone!

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  51. yup, sign me up. for 95% of this. except for chipotle, i could really go for some even halfway decent mexican food right about now.

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  52. I've never eaten at Chipotle. I like Moe's which I hear is basically the same thing, only better. I've never eaten a macaroon either. I don't go gaga over red cups, but I am a little happy when they arrive because it means the Peppermint Mocha is back.

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  53. yes I'm a stay at home wife who does nothing but chores chores chores... :) i can only post about so much laundry!chipotle= gross and macaroons, no idea. 2014 here we come!

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  54. I really really really LOVE Chipotle, but I live two hours from the nearest one :( However when it comes to asking my husband to take outfit pictures of me? He would laugh in my face and take a horribly shaky pic so I'll definitely be sticking to selfies.


    I've never eaten a macaroon either....and honestly they don't even look good to me!

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  55. I have to agree with you about Chipotle's. I tried it a couple months ago when I was in Vermont and I hated it. I think someone else mentioned in the comments that they prefer Moe's and I have to agree with them. Moe's has more flavor for similar food. Although I do love some good Taco Bell as a rare treat.

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  56. Thanks for writing my list for me, these are all things I would love to do too! especially the surprise vacation!

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  57. FINE! I almost added "put another stamp in my passport", too - and I've never been to Canada!!! Hmmmm......I like where this is going :)

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  58. :) I've been discussing one with my hubby and it's been a little tough to get him on board with trying to pay off debt ... but Travelocity is having a mega sale right now sooo ... we shall see ;)

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  59. Nooooo flipping way - you were GOMI'ed? What the heck could anyone say about you? I lurk there and shake my head most of the time because the things that people make up and say is just downright bullying!! My grammar is brutal as well, but that's why I say that I blog how I speak, haha!! Are the pancakes really that amazing? I'm not a huge pancake person but I looked at the menu and everything looks DELISH!!

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  60. I feel like such a weirdo, haha!! I'd never hack it as a fashion blogger :)

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  61. Hahaha I'm glad you enjoyed it and got a chuckle, Michelle :)

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  62. I'M SORRY!!! I really think that I maybe just had a crappy bowl or something. I enjoy posting out recipes here, mainly because I loveee to cook, but you'll never see a fashion blogger type of post out of me lol

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  63. It was definitely a terrible experience that left me sick on the floor. Either my stomach was off or the bowl was bad :(

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  64. I'm sorry, I'm sorry :( :( :( I'm pretty sure all of you bloggers are going to revolt and stone me, hahahaha!!!

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  65. One day I will invest in a full length mirror, lol

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  66. Right??!! Though I am jealous that some of my favorite bloggers are hot topics on there - most of the time I just shake my head at the crap that people come up with and post there!!

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  67. Want me to send you over some taco packets?! Cause I totally will!!

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  68. I have eaten at Moe's, and it was delish!! Yes, red cups = the official "holiday season" in my mind.

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  69. hahaha, I work from home and my life is pretty flipping annoying except for my once a week outing to the grocery story :) I'm glad I have a Chipotle is yuck supporter ;)

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  70. Exactly! TJ would so laugh in my face and it would be a completely awkward experience that would leave me with DRRRRRR faces lol.


    Apparently macroons are divine ... so the fancy bloggers say lol

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  71. YAY, my second supporter of Chipotle, lol. I've had Moe's, and it was very good ... and I'm definitely guilty of treating myself to Taco Bell a couple of times per year :)

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  72. Nothing gets under my skin more than blogging rules, marriage rules ... etc., etc., etc., lol.. Blogger Fails are my favorite bloggers, because at least we have something different to offer than that's streamlined and regurgitated lol

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  73. I'm definitely going to look into that Side Effect ... I'm sure it's better for your body than a zing of coffee, and I'd like to get into a little routine of working out in the morning. Thanks friend :)

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  74. This has sparked my interest... I want to haphazardly throw together a 25 before 25 (which is in less then 25 weeks for me!) half of which I've already done so I can feel super accomplished in tackling the other half... But really, I want to do this.

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  75. Is that like when I make a list and cross things off after I've already completed those things? hahahahahaha!!!

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  76. Great list, Kym! I'm especially excited for #29 :) love you love you

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  77. I'm excited / scared shitless lolololol :)

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  78. Vintage jewles?!?! I am all over this! I will be at that grand opening and buy tons of neckalces. What a great list!

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  79. I don't like Chipotle or coffee itself for that matter. And I only share pictures of family members who give me express permission to do so.

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  80. I love that you would organize a fundraiser for an animal shelter! Just makes me like you even more! And I've always thought it would be interesting to take a vacation alone!

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  81. I have never been to Chipotle and I've never had a macaron either and I only post pictures of people if I have their permission first! I'm pretty shitastic as well.

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  82. I love this list, but two things specifically: 1) Giving a server a 100% tip. After being a server for many, many moons and all through college I appreciate this because you just don't know how much that would literally make their DAY! Or probably even their WEEK! 2) Get new professional pics taken. My husband and I decided to get our pictures taken every year for our anniversary so that we will eventually have a wall full of images that show the progression of our marriage and our life! Highly recommend ;)

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  83. I feel like a big weirdo asking (I have a complex lol) - good thing my dog can't object to having his picture shared ;)

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  84. Yes - it was a LOVE of mine back in 2010 ... le sigh ... I'm dreaming big, but I hope to open the shop again in the coming year :)

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  85. I love so many of these. Taking a vacation by yourself is such a cool idea. I'd really have to force myself to do it, but I'd love to! I love that you want to go to 10 zoos. So awesome. Also, I'd love to be a morning person, but I know (for a fact) that it will simply never happen. I'm okay with it.

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  86. I'm going to link up in a little with Taylor as well but would be interested to see your original list. You mentioned what you did, what were the things you didn't do but had wanted to?

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  87. this is a great list! i have a list too (even though i'm over 30 wahh) so it is fun to set some goals for ourselves for sure.
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

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  88. Great question, Denise. Some of them include: Mail out 25 birthday cards, Develop a skin care routine, Write a letter to myself and open it in 10 years, Learn how to sew and make myself a cute apron, Take a painting class, Read 100 books, Photograph an endangered species, Submit to postsecret, Develop a habit of taking my vitamins every day, Educate myself on geography, Research my family tree, Try 10 new/interesting/unfamiliar foods, Try 200 new recipes, Take a cake or cupcake decorating class, Get to my goal weight and stay there, Enroll in a World History course, Discover a craft (that I excel at!) that I can sell on Etsy, Create a photo book of 500 photos that I've taken and Go on a cruise :)

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  89. Ohhh stop it, I've heard 30 is way better than 20 :)

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  90. I really, really, really want a few days to myself to just relax and unplug, ya know??? TJ and I love going to zoo's!! I woke up at 5:45am ... but I'll probably be sleeping until 9 tomorrow. Woof.

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  91. I loveee animals :) My moms best friend took a cruise by herself and ended up meeting her husband - not that I'm into that lol, but I think it would be neat to just relax by myself for a few days and collect my thoughts :)

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  92. I was a waitress for 10 years so I totalllllllly get that! Minimum server wage in MA is $2.63. One day, someone came in and split a dinner that came out to $13 - they left me a $100 tip and it literally made my MONTH. I love the idea of taking a photo every anniversary, it's going to be a beautiful collection 50 years from now!!! Imagine?!?

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  93. Lol. Seeing as how I used the term "jack hole" in my last blog, I'm pretty sure I'll never be seen as a fancy blogger! :)

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  94. LOL not sure if it's better for you... it does have lots of STUFF in it ;) http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/side-effect-sports/fatburner.html

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  95. This is a really great list Kym!! I should definitely put together a 30 before 30 list. I'm just terrible at sticking to stuff like this. I must do better. :)

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  96. That's a great list! I'm sure you can do it! :)

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  97. This is so funny! I'm totally a shitastic blogger too!

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  98. i want to unplug from the world!! i did, kind of , when i travel to europe. i need to do that again.

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  99. Love this! Taking a photography class is definitely on my list.

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  100. I love all of these. I especially liked the pay for a strangers dinner and leave a 100% tip. I feel like these lists tend to be very self focused. Way to take it even further.

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  101. this is truly awesome. I say this in complete honesty: I've never seen such a great 30 before 30 list... or anything before anything list, for that matter! I'm so glad that I found your blog and decided to sponsor you because you're so motivational but now in a preachy, sappy way! and now, I don't have to make my own 30 before 30 list because I'm just stealing yours. ;)


    PS # 10... come on over to Chicago?!

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  102. I'm terrible at sticking to lists as well .. unless it's a cleaning list, I love checkmarking crap off of that list (usually after I've done it, lol!!!)

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  103. I will certainly try! Most of them are fun, it's just staying mindful of what I want to accomplish that may become the issue!!

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  104. It's lovely, isn't it? I didn't have a cell phone the first year that we lived in Germany and it was honestly amazing. I often shut my push notifications off to enjoy some silence when I'm feeling stressed out - I wish that I could keep them shut off for good!!

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  105. What type of camera do you have? I've been looking at local classes but they are upwards of $200+!!!

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  106. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I have a Nikon D3000 (used). What do you have?

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  107. Awe thanks Erica! My last list included a lot of dumb, silly things that I wanted to accomplish. Maybe that's why I failed, because they weren't important. I wanted to make this one more meaningful, full of things that will allow me to grow from the inside :)

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  108. Yeah it's flipping ridiculous!! I have the Canon T4i...one day I'd like to be able to use it lol.

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  109. Haha this post is all kinds of awesome. I had no idea chipotle was so popular until I tweeted about it today! I do love it though! And that eCard about our parents spending their life savings to send us to college is fantastic!

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  110. Love your list! I have learn to drive a stick shift on my Someday I Will post from today too. My mom tells me its something everyone needs to know in case you're being chased by a murderer and the only getaway vehicle you come across is a standard. LOL

    I've had a Bucket List/30 Before 30 post sitting as a draft for almost a year but never get around to publishing it because I'm constantly finding new things to add to it.

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  111. Haha this post is awesome!! It reminds me that we don't have to be the bloggers that everyone says we need to be we can be as shitastic as we want!! I am definitely a shittastic blogger!! Thanks for helping me get out of my horrible mindset that I am a blogger failure and that I should just quit at blogging. Blogging is MY thing and it doesn't matter what I do with it.

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  112. Love this! Not quite the same thing but my husband and I just made a "married bucket list" and it has really helped us focus on what is important in life! It's not necessarily about checking things off our "list" but about spending time together doing things we want to experience in life. Hope you get to do everything you want! :)

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  113. Kristina_JoyfullySmittenOctober 30, 2013 at 7:29 PM

    I didn't love Chipotle the first time I tried it either, and honestly I never knew it was a "blogger" thing. I have never at a macaron and frankly I've never thought Chevron was cool. Can we please add in the ridiculous blogger slang? I can't stand when someone uses "totes" annoys the daylights out of me.

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  114. awe you're sweet! THANKFULLY we can find taco seasoning here, so at least i can make mexican food at home!

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  115. Ahhhh, that's my dream camera!

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  116. The No.1 way I'm a shitastic blogger... I don't have an iphone. I'm pretty sure the blogging police will be banging down my door any second ;)

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  117. HAHAHA! I want to try one just so I know but, I don't want to become addicted to them! Everything that is pumpkin flavored that I try I end up LOVING! Ex. - pumpkin dip... I'm pretty sure I've made it about 10 times in the last month!!! Insert crazy lady! & as for Chipotle... I get brown rice, black beans, steak, corn & cheese. I've tried the grilled veggies before but, I just didn't care for how they were cooked so, they stay out! Maybe give it another try sometime!

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  118. This is such a great list! I love the animal shelter one the most, but I may be a little biased. I hope you can accomplish all of these!!

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  119. I love your list. Idk you had a jewelry line. You should open that back up. I have a 40 before 40.

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  120. Haha love this. I also hate Chipotle. Moe's is WAY better!

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  121. I love your list. I was recently inspired to make my own about a week ago and I can't wait to start checking things off of them. Of course I keep adding more and more the more I keep thinking about it. I'm here living in Poland and just recently learned how to drive a stick shift and wrote a blog post about it.

    My to do list: http://rachadams.com/todolist/

    My tragic times learning how to drive a stick in Europe: http://rachadams.com/hows-my-driving/

    Happy I stumbled across our blog, keep it up!

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  122. Great list to accomplish :) Take one of those three trips to Texas & I can help you knock off #22 in the process :)

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  123. Let's see: #1: never had Chipotle. think that would require me to like more than tacos and fajitas in terms of mexican food. #2: the only red cups I care about come from McDonald's and contain peppermint hot chocolate -- my local one jipped me last year, only snagged 1 red cup as apparently they were too cheap to restock them after the first week ;) #3: occasionally do that; #4: nope, hasn't happened; #5: no hubs, so guess its selfies for me too; #6: never had one of them either ...; #7: nope, haven't ever tried one of them. although I think it should scones and woodgrain next year ;) ; #8: same here.


    Guess we'll have to form a support group then ... we can meet in a chat room somewhere ... or twitter chat ... or somewhere on the interwebs!

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  124. ps ... tell TJ to get you a tripod and wireless remote for Christmas, then you can use the dslr for selfies :) no mirror needed then!

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  125. I'm 33 & missed doing a 30 by 30 list....guess I'll have to do 35 by 35!

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  126. Hahaha. Love this. I'm a Shitastic blogger too. Can we start a club?

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  127. Definitely a great list! I hope to help you accomplish #10! You have to come to the zoo down here, by the way. It's the only one in the world on a mountain!

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  128. Haha I can relate to a few of these, but I seriously don't know how you don't like Chipotle! I swear, if I didn't make Sami take pics we wouldn't have ANY. Haha

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