February 4, 2014

Ten Reasons Why I'm Jealous Of My Dog


1. He is told that he is beautiful/cute/handsome everyday by e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e he meets. Even when he's told he's ugly, it's a backhanded compliment: "Oh, he's so ugly he's cute!" When I look ugly, I just look ugly.
 2. He has an expensive fur coat. I don't have a fur coat. And the zipper on my winter coat is currently jacked up and broken. So that's that for that.
3. He never finds my hair allllllll over him.
4. He sleeps and lounges for 85% of the day. I love sleep. Love it, I tell ya. Brutus doesn't have to go grocery shopping or work or cook dinner or do the dishes. He just sleeps and lounges all day. And no one judges him.
5. He has never once said something stupid out loud that he can't take back.
6. He gets to be naked all day, every day. I hate wearing clothes. Specifically, pants. Brutus never has to put pants on to go outside. 
7. He isn't self conscious about his body. Every time we go to the vet I'm sent home with paperwork about how obese he is ... but he just brushes it off and rocks his bod with killer confidence. 
8. He never has to return emails or answer phone calls.
9. He eats expensive, grain free and organic food every day.
10. He goes to the dog spa at least five times per year. I can't even tell you the last time that I had a mani or pedi.

When we live in a world where doubletaps on Instagram are like social currency, and my phone explodes with "hearts" every time I post a photo of Brutty on there - it's safe to say that I'm jealous of him. But he also keeps us 'pup'ular, so I guess I'll keep him ;)

Are you jealous of your dog, too? 

xo,
Kym
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79 comments

  1. #7 had me squealing with laughter! The vet calls him obese, yet he rocks that bod with killer confidence. Too funny!! Him in the background with that face, that body and the little figurine in front of him. It's like "this is the ideal physique, this is Brutus' physique." He's is so adorable with his under-bite and floppy face. I wish my Dane was as cool.

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    1. Hahahaha ... he is often up for sale via Twitter or Instagram, check in soon for deals, I offer free shipping in extreme cases ;)

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  2. Haha yes!! I'm totally jealous of Hawkeye. She goes to the groomer every 6 to 8 weeks. I get my hair done maybe twice a year. And she definitely eats better than any person I know.

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    1. It's ridiculous, isn't it Stephanie?! Brutus definitely lives a healthier and more posh lifestyle than I do lol!!!

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  3. I have one more cute photo of that babyyyyyyyy! Ill send it!

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    1. Brutus told me that he thinks you're sexy.

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  4. He is so adorable! Yes my dog Azora is so spoiled, I wish I got to lay around all day, have other people wash and dry my hair and prepare my food every day, must be nice!

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    1. HAHAHA right?!?! Just once I'd like to come home to a home cooked meal from BRUTUS ;)

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  5. haha! I just had this conversation with friends they other day when they said they curse their dog every morning, when she jumps into their bed and snuggles under the covers as they are getting ready to go to work. Just not fair.

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    1. SOOO not fair! And I swear, every time I have to actually be up and out of the house early, Brutus KNOWS and he just wants to snuggle. Any other time he could care less about me lol!!

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  6. He is so handsome :)

    My bully sleeps most of the day too, and every time she wakes up I yell out "Gooooood Morning Princess!"

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    1. Ohhh yes, Brutus is definitely our little prince and completely runs our show, Kate!!

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  7. HAHA! that was awesome! The photos of Brutus are my favorite! Dogs sure do live a lot better than us huh?

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    1. Oh FOR SURE. He eats better, sees the doctor more, gets mani's and pedi's ... Hell, if I come back, I want to be a dog lol.

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  8. What a face! My husband and I have 2 cats and I always say that if reincarnation is real, then I want to come back as one of MY cats. Not just any cats, one of mine... they seriously live "the life"!

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    1. L O L ... I just replied to a comment and said the same exact thing! Brutty goes to the doctor more, gets mani's and pedi's, goes to the spa, and eats organic. He lives the life fo sho. Plus he doesn't have to wear pants. I'm sold lol.

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  9. He is pretty cute! I am jealous of my dogs. They have a pretty sweet life except for the licking their own butt thing. Other than that, their life is great.

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    1. Hahahahahahaha, you are very right about that one ... actually, Brutus had pink eye a couple of weeks ago and I said "That's what you get for sticking your nose up other people's asses, buddy!"

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  10. He sounds like he has a pretty amazing life! # 7 hilarious....he just brushes it off and rocks his bod <-- hilarious!

    Meet @ the Barre

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    1. For real though lol. It must be nice to not care what anyone thinks about you, huh?! lol!!

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  11. I agree with all of the above! My dog lives the life too!

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    1. Our dog definitely runs our show, Whitney!!!

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  12. Haha your dog is awesome! I can totally relate with treating my dog better than myself!

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  13. Wouldn't it be so amazing to be treated like a dog one day?! Or how much better our relationships would be if we treated everyone like we treat our pets (most of the time!) I think you're on to something here!!

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    1. THIS THIS THIS ... imagine if we treated one another with the same kindness, bending over backward-ness, and general LOVE?!

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  14. OMG he is super cute! And I am totally jealous of my dog as well! They are just do damn lucky!

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    1. Haha, tell me about it! I want to come back a dog in my next life ;)

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  15. baaahahaaa! I'm jealous of Brutus too. Remington on the other hand, not so much. He gets jumped and climbed on by kids all day every day. Gets his tail pulled. Kids are always taking food out of his mouth and dog pull. A certain one year old loves to dump his water out..actually that sort of sounds like my life too.

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    1. BAHAHAHA ... I honestly wonder how the dynamic is going to change once we add another little person into the mix!!

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  16. I'm pretty jealous of him too - especially that no pants thing. Tell us what that's like, Brutus!

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    1. I keep asking for him to talk to me (it would be our little secret of course) ... but he's as stubborn as a bulldog ;)

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  17. Holy gratuitous doggie photo dump, why didn't I think of this?! I mean it is all so true, plus you have pics to prove it! I give my cat the organic grain free food and cry a little inside every time I buy it, not gonna lie. I mean he's worth it but SERIOUSLY?

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    1. WAAAA. Same here. I have a friend who is like an animal whisperer who swears by some cheap-o brand she gets at Walmart, but I feel like it's full of chemicals and heaven forbid Brutus eats that ... while I down soda and chips lolol

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  18. BUT seriously! What lavish lives our dogs live!

    XO, Brooke

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    1. HAHA right?! They truly don't know how well they have it, Brooke ;)

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  19. Haha too funny and too true! I am constantly jealous of my dogs life especially the sleep and being lazy aspect!! I do find myself wondering what in the world they are thinking sometimes tho especially when I'm talking to them like real ppl lol
    xx Mary

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    1. Hahahaha, same here Mary! I always tell Brutus that he doesn't have to be afraid to talk back, it could be our little secret ;)

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  20. Okay I need a dog that looks and acts exactly like him. He is adorable and I can't help but smile and giggle as I look through these pictures and what you said about him.

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    1. He is OFTEN up for 24 hour sales, Brianna!!!!! hahaha ;)

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  21. Ummm...I've told you this before, but I absolutely love him. These pictures just made my day. The one of him in the Lucic shirt? MY GOD.

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    1. Hahaha that was obvi TJ's idea ... and as you can see on Brutty's face, he's absolutely THRILLED to be wearing clothes. NOT haha!

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  22. What a sweet pup!!! A dogs life is pretty great - and not having to worry about your figure - WINNING!

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    1. Tell me about it! And that "no clothes" thing is a pretty decent perk as well ;)

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  23. Oh my goodness the wrinkles!!! Ahhhhhh. I melt!

    I am totally jealous of my dogs. They too lounge around all day, pant-less, while I work hard to pay for the roof over their heads and their expensive food in their bellies. They get way more attention than me and aren't worrying about their figures or being polite. The dog life is the great life!

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    1. L O L your comment made me laugh out loud, Nadine! They truly don't know how easy they have it ( ... I feel like I've heard my parents tell me that a time or two haha!)

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  24. This is a perfect list. A lot of the reasons I'm jealous of my dog, too! haha :)

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    1. I'm glad you could relate, Stephanie! If I come back, I want to be a dog lol!

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  25. Ha! He's cute! My pugs get the same 'compliment' being so ugly they are cute.

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    1. Hahaha, whenever we pass a pug on the street I always tell Brutty it's one of his long lost cousins ;)

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  26. Yeah, I have to say I'm quite jealous of my Great Dane. She gets humped by all the boys when we take her to the dog park. I used to get humped by all the boys. Not anymore.

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    1. We would LOVE a Great Dane ... someday, one of those big puppies would NOT enjoy our small apartment living lol. My milkshake used to bring all the boys to the yard too ;(

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  27. Brutus' face was just what I needed today :) Mine might be jealous though, he doesn't get spa days (he's a country boy). Taking mine to the vet is enough of an ordeal (he gets carsick)!

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    1. Awww poor buddy :( Brutus gets all pissy-pantsy in the car until he sees that we're at Petsmart lol!!

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  28. Oh my gosh. This post is adorable. I love him!! I totally agree though. The life of a dog is pretty great!!

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    1. Haha I'm glad that you enjoyed it Alison! When/If I come back, I'd love to come back as a dog, lol!

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  29. K, now I'm jealous of YOUR dog!! So friggen cute (and not the ugly cute, just cute cute).

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    1. LOLOLOL your comment made me giggle Renee!!!

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  30. haha he is too much!! I want to snuggle him in the worst way!!

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    1. He's often up for sale, Erin. Keep your eye on Instagram and Twitter, I offer free overnight shipping ;)

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  31. This cracks me up! Number 4 and number 7 have to be my favorite! I love fellow dog obsessors :)

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    1. Hahahaha, I'm definitely a sucker for my dog ;) xo

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  32. well, isn't he the cutest damn thing, but I think my favorite thing about him is his name. I also recently got extremely into hockey, I love it! what team does your husband play for?

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    1. Hahah Brutus Baxter-Barkly certainly does fit him well! We are currently in Denver, CO and TJ is playing for an Avs affiliate, the Cutthroats. We met when he played for the Worcester Sharks and we've been jumping around for the past seven years. Who is your favorite team?

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  33. Oh my gosh, this made me laugh, it's so true!! He is adorable! Too funny!!

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  34. I'm completely jealous of my dog! Pretty much for any of the above reasons. Instagram and Facebook just adore her. :)

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    1. Hahaha same here Jessica, same here!!!

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  35. this is the cutest post ever! the picture of brutus upside down is so adorable. i ask my dog if he'll go to work for me almost every day, and he usually just cuddles up with his blankets on the couch. they really do have it made!!

    xo,
    gabby
    www.likealittlefox.blogspot.com

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    1. Hahaha, I'm glad that you enjoyed this, Gabrielle! If you flip that photo over it's even funnier!! If I come back, I definitely want to be a DOG!

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  36. haha this is hilarious!! I love it! Especially the sleeping part. My cats spend allll their time sleeping!

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    1. I would love to sleep allllllllllllll day one day. I've actually wished the flu on myself this year, but it hasn't struck me yet lol!

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  37. I love him! I have a white bully myself and they are just so handsome. I think my favorite backhanded compliment is, "A face only a mother can love." Who says that? Bulldogs are the cutest!

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    1. LOL I sooooo hear that one all of the time as well Kelly!!

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  38. I am jealous of my puppy mostly because of the sleeping thing. I really wish I could sleep all day. He is usually the cause of me having to get up early too! How rude! ;) He always gets more Instagram likes too than my selfies.

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    1. Hahaha, same here! Brutus sleeps with us (I've tried for years to get him out of our bed, but I'm a sucker!) ... the other night, TJ and I were squished onto 1/4 of the bed while Brutus took up the rest of it sleeping sideways! The little shit runs our shows lol!!

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  39. I have two shih tzus. They're fairly tortured by sounds both real and imagined. There's a certain commercial that tricks one of them into sprinting to the front door EVERY time. They sort of make me feel smart when they do that. I KNEW it was just the TV. Ha!

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    1. HAHAHAHA! Brutus always goes NUTS when he hears another dog barking on TV and then we torture him a little bit and tell him to "go get it!" ... one of these days he's going to go busting through the television lol

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I love reading your thoughts and opinions and I do try to answer all comments and questions. If you would like to contact me directly feel free to email me at kymberly_fox@yahoo.com, on Instagram @kymberly_fox, or at Facebook.com/KymFox86 :)

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